Revenge is every man's right.
When you seek revenge, make it count.
Strike swift and strike hard.
Hit 'em where it would hurt the most.

Bang his/her best friend or brother/sister,
Tape it, and send it back to them.
If for some reason they're married or in a relationship,
Make sure to secretly make a sex tape of the two of you fucking
and when the time is right, send a copy over to the significant other's way.

Revenge is every man's right.
When you seek revenge, make it count.
Strike swift and strike hard.
Hit 'em where it would hurt the most.

Whoa! Can you believe that it's already the 154th day of the year 2009? Amazing! It's like it was just last week, I was stuck working in an airport with a mob of angry people on Christmas Eve. Yeah, it DID INDEED SUCK!!

Well, I seem to have somewhat recovered from my hiccups. I'm slowly getting back to my old self again. Slowly but surely, my resolve is coming back to me. It's a long and winding bumpy ass road but I know I'll get through it.

Change is coming.

I met her during my young early years of adolescence. It was my very first day in highschool and boy, was that day awkward. Class started at 0700 and I arrived at 0645. I came with what I thought was all I needed. A binder, a couple of pens, school diary, paperwork. Only one thing though, I was the only student who wasn't in his full uniform. Not that I didn't have it but, I just thought that it won't be essential. I was wrong.

As I stepped into the classroom scanning for a seat, I heard someone calling out my name. It was a familiar male voice. I turned towards the direction of where the voice came from and to my surprise, it was a classmate of mine from grade school - Patricio! Lucky me I said. He pulled the seat that was to his right and motioned for me to join him. As I got there, we started talking about who else amongst our old classmates was with us. I was surprised as there was just more than what I expected. After we've caught up on the chits and chats, he introduced me to the people who were sitting infront of us. They were 2 young ladies. Rosemarie and Annabelle.

"By the way, she's Rosemarie," he said while pointing to the person directly in front of me. And this, this is Teacher Annabelle. (We had a Teacher back in elementary who was named the same) He was holding on the seat with his right hand and pointing with his left index finger referring to the young lady seated in front of him. As I looked at her face while we were being introduced, ray of light shined on her face and a light breeze came in to brush her. I was speechless. I knew at that moment that I wanted her.

She was an average looking young lady then. Straight long hair, lightly glossed lips and she had no makeup on her face, - wow! They rarely come as simple as her these days i thought. I later found out that her dad was (and still is) an airman. She had a very calming voice. From that moment on, I knew I liked her.

I tried to felt her know how I felt about her. I've gone to great lengths - ridiculous you might say. I was a slave to this thing called puppy love, I have been, for years. I always thought that time and persistence would convince and plead to an ignoring heart, that showing a positive attitude about things would send out positive vibes but most of all, that patience, loyalty and diligence would soften up a stubborn heart. I guess I was wrong. Very wrong. So, just as the lines of the popular song we shared a dance to at out Sr.Prom, "And as I go through my life, I will wish for her his wife, All the sweet things she can find, All the sweet things they can find."

But not until I return the favor!!!

Boy am I tired! I've been getting home pretty late lately and averaging about 2 hours of sleep before going back to work. Today however, I got a chance to leave early and jumped at the chance to go to a nearby sports bar and enjoy some wings and mojitos.

As my server brought me my fifth or sixth serving of the popular Cuban cocktail, I asked myself this: "Why the hell am I sitting in a damn sports bar sipping cocktails dwelling in the past? Why I say?" Why indeed, was I dwelling in the past? What the hell is happening to me? One of the things that annoys me are people who bring the past back and live in it. People who have been crapped on right on the forehead (right between the eyes) and still stick it out. Am I falling into an emotional bliss of self pity and bitterness? Did I just break a promise over some old disgusting mushy one-sided fling? Oh hell no! PATHETIC!!! Somebody please give me a kick in the ass!

I've been a lifelong believer that no one should be able to press my buttons that way - EVER! But everytime, there is always that one person, that only person who seems to always get to you. Haven't seen or heard from that person in 10 years and yet when you finally do, she gets you. Again.

Why do I still get affected by her? I thought I was over her. I thought I've moved on. I thought that after years of both assisted and self realization, she would no longer have any bearing on me whatsoever. I was wrong. Maybe deep down in me, I thought it would still be possible. Maybe I was hoping for a chance at her. Maybe I was hoping that after all the years, she'd ask herself "What if" while I kept thinking "maybe." Pathetic.

There is nothing to mourn about. Nothing to be depressed about. I wasn't made for this bullshit. This is highschool crap - nothing more but girly drama! This is not the right way to respond. I'm a fighter. A warrior if you will and I shouldn't be down on the ground. I should be on my feet fighting back and I promise by the sword in my hand that I will. No more of this pathetic nonsense. Wasting my time and ruining my body won't help. Arise I will, and havok will be sowed. Thank you for again denting my ego, your time is comming.

Pain doesn't necesarrily mean death,
What hurts and doesn't kill makes you stronger,
Pain is weakness going away.
- 1SG Gray U.S. Army Infantry

Hi! I didn't get a chance to logon yesterday. I was working my usual crazy hours. But don't worry you guys, this post is going to be yesterday and today combined. It's basically related anyway.

Okay. So uh, remember that story I told you guys? About this person that I was looking for for the last 10 years of my life whom, I found on a social networking site (again)? Remember how I psyched myself up when I got a notification about me getting a message and not reading it until I got home after work yesterday? Well folks, all the anticipation and excitement I had just set me up for failure... the message I got wasn't from her but from some spam bot. Darn spammers! Die mothafuckas! Die! Just Imagine how frustrated I was!

Anyway, I got home about 10-15 minutes ago. So as I was taking my tie off, I started to boot my computer. I logged on to the site while I took of my shoes. I started to get comfortable when I saw something I wasn't expecting, but wanted to have - a message! A brand new unread message! Yes! It was a message! My heart started to pound and the sweat started to bead up on my forehead. I closed my eyes and started praying as I guided the pointer to the inbox link. Was I going to get disappointed again? All kinds of things were zipping and zapping in my mind. Let's just get this over with I told myself.

The Inbox finally popped out and there it was. The sender was partially visible but it resembled the profile I wanted to see! I held my breath as my sweaty palms trembled as I scrolled down cautiously and slowly to reveal the sender's name. I felt my heart skip a beat and I know at that moment I was temporarily paralyzed. I could not believe it. It was her! She responded to my 2 messages!!! Yipee!

I was filled with excitement as I read the message but after the first sentence, I fell silent. I was stunned. Suddenly the air around me was so heavy. I felt like someone was pinching, no, stabbing me in the heart. This wasn't how I pictured it to be. Not even close. She got married last January. She's a married woman with no kids. I've secretly longed for her for the alst 10 years of my life. Since I've last seen her in August of 2008, I never stopped looking for her. She was the first girl I ever felt that way for. From the first day that I set my eyes on her in June of 1994, I never forgot the curves and shades of her face. But I guess it was just never meant to be. Never.
And so, just as the Prom song that we danced to : "And as I go through my life, I will wish for her his wife, All the sweet things she can find, All the sweet things they can find."

Before I left for work this morning, I checked my email (just like everybody else) and saw a notification from the website I was talking about yesterday. The subject was about me receiving a message! I got excited! My mood went from ho-hum to Hooah! - Ecstatic!!! I got a message

I didn't logon to the said website because I wanted to excite myself and basically beat my self up with anticipation. So as i got into the car, I pulled my CD's out and browsed through them. Boyz 2 Men? Nah, The Company? Too mellow. 50 Cent? Too Violent for the mood, i couldn't seem to make up my mind so I just plugged in my Ipod and set it on shuffle mode and pressed next twice before I let it rip and what do you know? The song that went on to play was the song we danced to on our Senior Prom! Oh shit, that's gotta be a good sign I said to myself, more excitement and anticipation ran through my veins. I stayed and reminisced for a few minutes bewfore I went to work. It was one of the best drives I had in a long while just because of memories.